Buckle Busters
| The Buckle Busters play cutting-edge music from a bygone era. For more than 25 years, they have been the unchallenged exponents of a revolutionary new style that can only be described as the future of old-time music--and it’s a future as contemporary today as ever before. Unlike bands that merely “play the right notes,” the Buckle Busters’ music is informed by both science and metaphysics--creating sonorities that supersede the so-called theoretical foundations of Western music and enable new realms of both aural and gastric experience.
Of their music, famous rap artist M&M has said, “Their lamination of narration, when they declare invasion, there ain’t no time to be stare and gazin’, they turn the stage into a barren wasteland.” Famous classical and pops conductor Kieth Lockheart has noted that their musical forms include “the basic set of notes; the retrograde, or the basic set backwards; the inverted, or the basic set upside down; and the retrograde-inverted, which is the basic set upside down and backwards.” And the late Curt Cobane famously said, “Thank you, Buckle Busters, from the pit of my burning, nauseous stomach.” Of course, all this praise would be nothing without the audience. For decades, millions of people around the world worshiped the Buckle Busters. Sadly, the Busters’ longtime manager and personal masseur, Toby Gapp, reports that the band has now fallen on hard times. Former fans have disappeared as they have aged, many now suffering from profound hearing loss. And today’s youth wouldn’t know good music if you whacked them upside the head with your fiddle bow. What’s more, each band member has his own gut-wrenching tale of hardship: Lewis “Dear Leader” Downey sunk his fortune into a series of groundbreaking talking snake experiments. However, the self-styled “scientists,” with their so-called “peer review process,” were not able to replicate his results. In the ensuing fiasco, Barmun&Bayley sued for breach of contract, leaving Lewis to eke out a living with only his voice, guitar, banjo, accordion and harmonica. Tom “Little Tommy” Smart has undergone an expensive, painful series of multiple sex change operations--back and forth--that have wiped out his life’s savings while, in the end, only returning him to a remnant of his original self. As a price for his insatiable curiosity--coupled with chronic indecisiveness--as to whether men or women have it better in today’s society, Tom is left to console himself with his fiddle, guitar, mandolin and voice. Ken “Stain” Sager was expecting a lifetime stipend for winning the Utah State Championship on both guitar and mandolin. However, John Huntsmen claimed he had no knowledge of the event and refused to pay. Ken was left with only enough money to buy a tenor banjo, dobro and a couple of other little things I’m not sure what they’re called, but he hopes they’ll take off on the Nashville scene and put him back in the money. The Buckle Busters’ Excellence in the Community appearance could be the last chance for this once-indomitable band. For only 12 bucks, you can help restore them to personal dignity and world renown. Mr. Gapp promises you won’t be sorry. Not this time. | |
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